Typical Pickle

Pickle Facts

• Pickles are technically cucumbers in witness protection
• The average pickle contains 47% existential dread and 53% vinegar
• A pickle's crunch can be heard from up to 3 feet away, or anywhere in a quiet library
• Pickles were once used as currency in Eastern Europe, leading to the phrase "in a pickle"
• Scientists believe pickles may be sentient but are too polite to mention it
• The world record for pickle juggling is held by a jar that fell off a grocery shelf in 1987
• Pickles glow faintly in the dark when embarrassed